Heavy Hands

A couple of weeks ago I spent a solid chunk of my afternoon listening to the same five songs over and over, the result of a mid-spring break-up and me finding a new Darci Cash album over the internet.
Darci Cash is a cute, folksy little group that plays sweet songs to sing along to and I hold them 70% accountable for why I liked the last person that I dated as much as I did.
Their songs were ever-present on mixed CDs, car radios, up-stairs stereos, all those places that count when you’re seventeen and holding someone’s hand.
It just figures that I always choose the good songs to wrap myself up in whenever I’ve dated someone not barely worth half of the time.
Every break-up brings up that playlist of songs that I never listen to again (for the most part.)
And in my high school career I’ve wrangled up my own hefty share:

In Circles-Sunny Day Real Estate
Sleepwalking-The Raveonettes
Wish You Were Here-Ryan Adams
Faded From the Winter- Iron and Wine
Tiny Vessels-Death Cab For Cutie
That Teenage Feeling-Neko Case
Neighborhood # 1 (Tunnels)-The Arcade Fire
I Found A Reason-Cat Power
Fake Plastic Trees-Radiohead

Tragic, right?
Those are albums given away, hidden behind bad soundtracks, piled upon one another on computer Waste Bins.
And then, months later revisited in one long, sob-filled evening.

But I found the loop-hole that Darci Cash afternoon. New albums. They released a new EP and the songs were recognizable, shadows of the song that I wrapped inextricably from the name of that last boy. But they weren’t those songs.
So, I listened to them that afternoon for hours and didn’t cry at all. Just smiled over the fact that I could actually reclaim sounds that I love as mine. A big, fat “Take that.”


2 responses to “Heavy Hands

  1. Blogging is narcissistic by nature. The most beautiful sound of a breakup is his screams of agony when he clutches his crotch in pain.

  2. Oh, if only I’d had the courage….

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