And Slowly Dear

I have spent many hours drafting playlists and mix lists. Thinking of the perfect lyric to fit after the perfect song, constructing messages and moods and maybe painting a picture of a moment so it will last on a burned disc that won’t outlast time.

I love collecting songs from other people too. My roommate and I used to have conversations all the time, trading perfect songs for very specific moments.

One afternoon, we spent an hour or so with a back and forth of songs that reminded us of boys. Boys. We pointed out the lyrics that mattered, the memories tied to them, why the song lifted just so that it would be caught in our collective memory.

Months later, I downloaded one of the songs because when she played it on her iPod it made me want to cry. Making me want to cry isn’t necessarily a great feat, but the way that this song tugged around my lungs was so specific that I felt I needed it.

This song reminded me of people I have kissed, of people that I want to kiss, of people that I would later kiss, or never kiss no matter how badly I’d want to.

It was an all-encompassing map of even events that hadn’t passed, applicable to every moment and heartbreaking in the want that rises while the song plays.

It’s feels universal even with specific details of another man’s love for someone that I do not know. I can claim this lovely lilting, night-time song without considering the singer at all.

I desperately want this song to be able to fill out lists for ages and never get old.

“Part One” by Band of Horses:

the bottom the earth i have to fall
but you really caught me
you really caught me, dear
at the bottom where I’d fallen.

and slowly dear ask that you dance with me
here with the shades down
lights off

when i didn’t know you
and everything i do
done badly

now I’ll love you always
even when i say
you distract me.

and sit out tonight in some strange place
if we have no friends here
well i had a few to begin with

to wake next to you in the morning
and good morning to you.
how do you do?
hey, good morning to you!
more covers for you.
sleep soundly dear cause i have to go.

and I’ll love you always.
when we leave this place
and drive back to Carolina
and down to Savannah and


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